Navigating Relationships on Board: The Challenges and Rewards of Sailing Together

Living on a sailboat is an adventure—one that brings both thrilling highs and challenging lows. When you're living in close quarters with someone 24/7, especially on a boat, the dynamics of your relationship are bound to shift. Kyle and I went from a long-distance relationship to living together on Sand Dollar full-time, and let's just say, it’s been an experience like no other. In this post, I’ll share the ups and downs of our relationship while sailing, and the lessons we’ve learned along the way.

 From Long-Distance to 24/7 Togetherness

For the first two years of our relationship, Kyle and I were long-distance. We spent a total of one month together during that time, and the rest was spent navigating time zones and busy schedules. Then came the big leap—living together on a boat. We went from never seeing each other to sharing a tiny space all day, every day. It was exciting at first, but also overwhelming. We were still figuring out our roles in both the relationship and on board life, all while trying to get the boat ready for the seas. 

The transition from 0 to 100 was challenging. While we had many exciting moments, the stress of boat preparations brought out frustration and arguments. But, as time went on, we started to settle into a rhythm, and I can honestly say we’re closer than ever. In fact, it feels like we’ve lived through a decade’s worth of relationship growth in just a few short months. 

 The Struggles We Faced

One of the biggest challenges for me was not feeling helpful or valuable in our new environment. As an independent woman, I’ve always prided myself on contributing equally in relationships. But when we first started sailing, I felt as though I was relying on Kyle for everything. Our focus was entirely on the boat—there were no "dates" or fun activities. The weight of getting Sand Dollar ready in just two months was incredibly stressful, and it left little room for bonding. 

Then came the housework. As a woman on board, I found myself taking on the bulk of the domestic duties—dishes, cleaning, organizing. I began to feel like my worth was tied to these chores, and it was hard not to feel undervalued. It took a toll on my self-esteem and made me question my place in the relationship. 

 Finding Balance Through Communication

The turning point came when we realized the importance of talking things through—a lot. Kyle was so focused on the boat, he didn't have the bandwidth for deep conversations, and I often felt ignored. But once we were both calm and ready to listen, things started improving. 

We found that taking a step back during stressful moments, especially during long passages, helped us both regain perspective. When you’re exhausted and overwhelmed, fighting only makes things worse. Instead, we learned to check in with each other and remember why we were doing this in the first place. 

Choosing roles both on the boat and in our relationship became crucial. Kyle began trusting me to help him with the technical side of things, and I found ways to contribute that suited my strengths. We also realized that it was okay to ask for help. If I couldn’t handle all the house chores, I learned to speak up—and the same went for Kyle. Trust and communication became the foundation of our relationship on board.

 The Reward of Working Together

Despite the struggles, the rewards have been immeasurable. Living on a sailboat together has taught us so much about ourselves and each other. We’ve faced mental and physical challenges that pushed us to our limits, but the best part? Getting through those tough moments together. Whether it was battling through a storm or overcoming a technical issue, there’s nothing more bonding than accomplishing something as a team.

We learned to lean on each other and celebrate our victories, big and small. There’s a unique sense of satisfaction when you navigate a challenge together—it’s an emotional bond that’s hard to match.

 Advice for Couples Considering Life on a Boat

If you're thinking about sailing with your partner, here's my advice: brace yourself. Life on a boat isn’t always glamorous, and there will be times when it feels like you're at your breaking point. But don’t panic. Here are some tips that helped us:

- Take care of yourself: If you're feeling frustrated, take a moment to shower, eat, or step away. Cabin fever is real, and self-care is essential.

- Pick your timing: When things are going wrong, it’s not the time for deep conversations. Wait until you're both calm.

- Communicate your limits: Especially for women, sailing can sometimes feel sexist—there’s an expectation to take on certain duties. Make sure to communicate your boundaries and share the workload.

And remember, this is about being a team. Sail through the tough times, celebrate the good ones, and trust each other—because there’s no better way to build a strong relationship than by weathering life’s storms together.